Tuesday, December 13, 2011
No More Fear -- My Verse For Today - 1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18
This was and is pretty wild for me. Fear has been a definer in my life. I have always had to deal with fear. I think it is may be the way I grew up. I don't know really. I think that I never felt okay. I never felt accepted. I felt only accepted when I was perfect in the eyes of the world. Or at least as perfect as I could get. I wasn't happy though. And there was always fear. Fear that I would fail. Fear that I would lose whatever I had gained. Why? Because I didn't really have love. I certainly didn't love myself, and I don't think I remotely grasped the love of God. I don't think I even have that grasped yet.
That is okay though. I know that I will. This year I will give up fear. I will give up worry. I will give up disappointment. I will give up self doubt. I will give up beating myself up. I will give up thinking that I have to settle. I will give up believing that I am only going to be. I will give up sadness. I will give up depression. I will give up restlessness. I will give up feeling as if I am on an island. I will give up believing that God cares about others, but I am not good enough. I will give up the world's idea of perfection and focus on my perfect savior, Jesus Christ.
The new year is coming and I am going to resolve to give up all the ties that have bound me to pain and narrowed my focus and my future. I am giving in to God and I am giving all of me to Him to do as he pleases. I know that only through Christ and my relationship with God will I truly leave the past behind me.