Tuesday, December 13, 2011

No More Fear -- My Verse For Today - 1 John 4:18


There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

This was and is pretty wild for me.  Fear has been a definer in my life.  I have always had to deal with fear.  I think it is may be the way I grew up.  I don't know really.  I think that I never felt okay.  I never felt accepted.  I felt only accepted when I was perfect in the eyes of the world.  Or at least as perfect as I could get.  I wasn't happy though.  And there was always fear.  Fear that I would fail.  Fear that I would lose whatever I had gained.  Why?  Because I didn't really have love.  I certainly didn't love myself, and I don't think I remotely grasped the love of God.  I don't think I even have that grasped yet.  

That is okay though.  I know that I will.  This year I will give up fear.  I will give up worry.  I will give up disappointment.  I will give up self doubt.  I will give up beating myself up.  I will give up thinking that I have to settle.  I will give up believing that I am only going to be.  I will give up sadness.  I will give up depression.  I will give up restlessness.  I will give up feeling as if I am on an island.  I will give up believing that God cares about others, but I am not good enough.  I will give up the world's idea of perfection and focus on my perfect savior, Jesus Christ.

The new year is coming and I am going to resolve to give up all the ties that have bound me to pain and narrowed my focus and my future.  I am giving in to God and I am giving all of me to Him to do as he pleases.  I know that only through Christ and my relationship with God will I truly leave the past behind me.

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